Play It Again, Sam
Published: July 20th, 2011
By: Brian Golden

Play it again, Sam

I had high hopes that Hollywood’s recent fascination with the reboot would be a passing fad, kind of like the platform shoe, paisley and the leisure suit – so popular in the 1960s – the polyester clothing, nylon jogging suits and disco music attributed to the 1970s and – my personal favorite – the 1980s, and that decade’s strange obsession with legwarmers, jelly shoes, spandex and, of course, the mullet. Unfortunately (at least in my mind), it seems the reboot is here to stay.

And no, I never wore legwarmers, jelly shoes or spandex. Well, at least not jelly shoes or legwarmers.

Personally, I can think of a lot of things I’d rather see “rebooted” than the Spider Man franchise (didn’t Sam Raimi just do this a few years back?), “Red Dawn” and Harry Dean Stanton’s unforgettable, “Avenge me boys ... avenge me!” and – for the third (or is it fourth?) time, the Man of Steel himself, Superman.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, as I’m sure you’re all well aware. Hollywood these days – when it comes to the reboot – is like a drunk with the keys to the liquor store, neither can help but overindulge, even if they know, deep down, it’s fundamentally a bad idea. Then again, why I should be surprised by Hollywood’s lack of originality at this stage of the game is beyond me.

Anyway, as previously stated – and if I could have my wish – I’d reboot a lot of things, and it certainly wouldn’t be a movie. Instead, how about we reboot something worthwhile, like the entire, two-term presidency of George W. Bush?

What can I say? When I hear people moaning about the current financial crisis here in the good old United States, I truly wonder at our collective ignorance. How much do you think two (completely) unnecessary wars have cost us over the past decade-plus? Who do you think paid – and are still paying – for them? But I’ll bet if you do the math you’ll find – astonishingly – that our current economic situation would, at least for the most part, be nonexistent if we’d kept ourselves out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Even worse, what have we actually accomplished over there? Not much, if you ask me, except a lot of heartache, death, destruction and – oh, yeah – a fortune for those who need it least (insert your favorite sleazy corporation or military contractor here).

I suppose it’s simply easier to blame President Obama at this point, at least for some people. Remember, however, it was Obama’s team that finally took down Osama bin Laden, a feat I believe could have been accomplished in the weeks immediately following 9/11 if we’d had someone in the White House that could read, write or speak English above an eighth-grade level.

Sorry, even I’ll admit that was (possibly) uncalled for. But really, it’s not all that far off the mark, when you take some time to think about it. In fact, thanks to the all-powerful Internet (and You Tube), one can easily find evidence of my previously stated opinion.

My personal favorite ...

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