Every year around Halloween, I feel the need to watch a great horror flick and scare myself silly, which, as you may have figured out by now, is not so difficult to do. At least it shouldn’t be. By now, everyone should know that I am a huge chicken, who jumps at every sound and sleeps with a night light. You would think finding something to scare me would be a pretty easy task.
No such luck. For the last few weeks, I’ve been perusing the videos at the store, hoping the next one I grab will be the super-scary flick I’m seeking, but so far, that hasn’t happened.
I don’t think I’m a movie snob or anything, but after watching a million different films billed as the scariest movie of the year, I’ve been horribly disappointed with the crap that makes up horror flicks. Give me a good, old Alfred Hitchcock thriller any day, and I’ll probably be hiding under my covers for hours, imagining every shadow is an evil doer coming to get me, but if I have to sit through one more “horror” flick where they douse everyone in lots of fake blood, make everything super nasty and expect that to replace all the good old-fashioned fear that came from watching “Psycho” or “Rear Window,” it’s just not going to work.
I know not everybody thinks the way that I do. To this day, there is probably not one movie in my house that my husband and I both enjoy, with the possible exception of “Cars.”
Maybe I’m the exception to the rule. Maybe most of the world sees lots of gore and thinks that’s way better than a plot line that makes sense and isn’t exactly like every other scary film on the market. (Let me guess, there’s a killer, a monster or a ghost that has just been paroled, released or summoned at the house of a young, well endowed female, whose parents are out of town for the weekend, or dead. She will run from the monster, in her revealing nightie, and she will always check out the strange noise in the basement, which will turn out to be the cat, even though the killer, ghost, monster is already in the house.) Maybe it’s just me, but in my opinion, if you take away all the blood, gore and gross out scenes, then “Hostel” is no more scary than “Ernest Scared Stupid.”
So, after watching all four “Saw” movies, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and both “Jeepers Creepers,” I think I’ve decided to just rent the old classics and give up on anything that promises to be the scariest movies since (insert lame movie title here).