So, there I was minding my own business when my In-Box pinged, and I noticed a “Contact Submission” from my website. I had no particular expectation from this. Occasionally, fans write to tell me they enjoyed one of my books. Sometimes, an article precipitates praise (or a question) if it touches upon a reader’s favorite person, place, or thing.

Equally often, it is an advertisement from a company that wants to increase the “views” on my website or re-configure it completely. I’ve only had one incident of hate mail. That was after I wrote an unsympathetic article about being fat, and the reader complained that I was insensitive (true) … having been raised in the “stop whining and shut up” school of journalism.

Usually, however – in fact always until just now – I could recognize into which category the website communication fell. Fan letter? Complaint? Advertisement? Which brings me to the title of this column. Yep. That was me. Duped. Fooled. Manipulated. Bulldozed. Sandbagged. Sucker-punched.

Now, I’ll tell you a story (I have changed some names and phrases to protect ME, in case the A.I. mob gets offended.)

Once upon a time. Like – yesterday – I was innocently checking my emails when … Lo and Behold … What Did I See? The aforementioned website communication. Here is how it went: “I would like to leave a review on Amazon about your writing. Is that all right? Veronica.”

Excuse me. This stranger is asking me, a writer, if I want a Good Review. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? OF COURSE I want a good review. Every author wants a good review. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, I drooled to myself. Trying to maintain a little false dignity, however, I responded to the query with serene acceptance and ladylike gratitude.

After a series of inoffensive procedural emails about how to access the books’ page on my Amazon account, this is the review of Origin & Cause that “Veronia” posted.

“A masterclass in character driven fiction, Reuben’s book is unlike any crime novel I’ve ever read. Shelly Reuben writes with the meticulous perception of a private investigator and the soul of a teller-of-tales. Each character feels like someone you might bump into on the street, except their stories are layered with intrigue, heartache, courage, and sometimes inspiration. I was particularly moved by the blend of forensic detail and emotional insight. Reuben doesn’t just tell you what happened, she shows you why it matters. Brilliant, moving, and often unexpected.”

Now, was that a great review, or what? Moving. Insightful. Brilliant. Yes, indeed-y. That’s me!

It wasn’t until I got a follow-up email from “Veronica” that I started to compare myself to all those lonely, delusional victims of “love scams” that I’d seen in YouTube videos, and said to myself, “Hey. Wait a second. What’s going on here?”

This was the next message a got from “Veronica.”

“I noticed that your books don’t have many reviews. I can help you create contents and I can post it to on my Social Media accounts to help you generate 100-200 reviews daily. Please advise if you are interested.”

Not only did that inquiry make the back of my neck tingle, but upon receiving it, my mind flashed to a profile that fellow-author/columnist Alexandra York had posted months earlier on her Facebook page. She prefaced it with these words: “A friend looked me up on A.I., and this is what it said.”

Space limitations prevent me from quoting the entire piece, but this adulatory excerpt should be enough for me to make my point.

“Alexandra York is an accomplished author and columnist known for her insightful commentary on cultural and political issues. With a background in literature, philosophy, and the arts, she brings a unique perspective to her writings, often delving into the intersection of culture, morality, and society … Overall, Alexandra York's work has made a significant impact on the intellectual landscape, earning her recognition as a leading thinker in her field. She continues to inspire and provoke thought through her writing, challenging readers to reconsider their assumptions and engage with complex ideas.”

Fantastic. Right? It is also – in tone and content – curiously reminiscent of “Veronica’s” wonderful review of my book.

How?

In both are a conspicuous absence of specifics. The title of an article that Alexandra wrote? The identity of a political opponent she challenged? The description of a painting or a concerto that she favorably reviewed? Similarly, in “Veronica’s” review of my book, there are no mentions of twists or turns in the plot. No allusions to characters who underwent spiritual transformations. Not even a description of the crime being investigated.

You will see what I’m talking about when you contrast the work of a real human being with that of A.I. Here is an excerpt from Marilyn Stasio’s New York Times review of Origin and Cause.

"A fire investigation is just like an archeological dig," according to a crusty arson expert named Wylie Nolan. Wylie goes on a dig in Shelly Reuben's ORIGIN AND CAUSE when a 1930 Duesenberg sedan worth $2 million erupts in black smoke, along with the film and television magnate who inherited the magnificent relic from his dad. Max Bramble, a lawyer who specializes in product liability, gets the case when the company that restored the antique car is slapped with a suit by the dead man's heirs. Sniffing his way through the charred ruins, Wylie finds clear evidence of arson. But can Max salvage the scorched reputation of the classic automobile in court?”

Although there are lots more goodies in that review, I just want to point out that in 112 words, Marilyn Stasio tells readers that investigating a fire is “like an archeological dig;” that the investigator’s name is Wylie Nolan; that the fire involves a 1930 Duesenberg; that the victim is a TV magnate; that Wylie is working with an attorney named Max Bramble; that a car restorer is being sued by the dead man’s heirs. And more.

However, in the 89 words of “Veronica’s” review, you learn only that I am meticulous, that I have the soul of a storyteller, that my characters are identifiable, that my novel is layered with intrigue, that I have “emotional insight,” that the plot is “Brilliant, moving, often unexpected,” and so on. All ego-stroking blather. Which is why I feel like a sucker-punched idiot.

After I received “Veronica’s” follow-up email advising that she could help me to “generate 100 to 200 reviews daily,” I emailed back, apologizing in advance if this was insulting to her, but asking if she had actually READ my book or if it had been generated by A.I.

Her immediate response was a huffy denial. BUT … I never heard from her again. In the same way that so many unfortunate men and women victimized by romance scammers never again see their money.

Remember the saying “The devil is in the details?” Lucky for me, when I realized that THERE WERE NO DETAILS – either in the review of my book or the A.I. profile of Alexandra York – the work of the devil became obvious to me. Which makes me wonder if, perhaps, we aren’t more worried about A.I. than we ought to be. Its weakness is the Thesaurus-enhanced slickness of its superlatives, combined with its use of non-specific puffery.

Is there a lesson in all this? I think so. And it is best stated in this old, reliable idiom: “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

Copyright © Shelly Reuben, 2024. Shelly Reuben’s books have been nominated for Edgar, Prometheus, and Falcon awards. For more about her writing, visit www.shellyreuben.com.