It's time to review... The Top Trends of 2016!
-- Streaming TV everywhere
My boss thinks I'm working, but I'm really binge-watching "The Walking Dead." Of course, I think my boss is working when he's probably watching "Game of Thrones." And we both think we're going to get paid, but for some reason, the company's going broke.
2015: "What can you say in only 140 characters?"
2016: "Enough to make you president."
-- Fake news
If it's on the internet, it must be true. By the way, won't you please look at my Craigslist ad for the Brooklyn Bridge? I think you'll like the price. Tell all your Facebook friends! It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
-- Self-driving cars
Think about it: Soon you'll be able to text, eat fast food, put on makeup, talk on the phone, yell at the kids and daydream while you run your errands. Just like you do now.
-- Craft breweries
Where absolutely no one knows your name, because you're on a quest to stop at every craft brewery in every town in the entire country. You're not an aimless drunk, you're an adventurer, tasting beers that may never be made again. Small children will look up to you.
-- Amazon Echo
You speak to it like a person and it does everything you ask it to do -- plays music, sets timers, reads books, tells you the news and the weather -- all with no backtalk, snide remarks, questions or attitude. Oh, please, Amazon -- start making people.
It's the Russians, it's the Chinese, it's your neighbor's kid in his basement. If you're smart enough to hack into the Department of Defense, you're smart enough to get a real job with benefits, a retirement package and a seven-figure salary. And they'll probably still let you work from your basement.