Let’s make a spin app

Maybe we can make some money from the spin phenomenon.

First, let’s define spin. It is the BS that spokesguys offer when they defend the indefensible. It is the crown jewel of PR. The lifeblood of politics. We see and hear a good deal of it these days.

Today we have spinmeisters. Hired guns. They are like trial lawyers who defend criminals. “My client killed his parents? Pity him. He’s a poor orphan.”

The political spinmeisters say “The mayor set fire to the apartments? He was clearing the land to build public housing for the poor.”

Spinmeisters are paid to say anything. No matter how ridiculous. So long as it distracts. Changes the subject. Swings the spotlight away from whatever mess their clients are in.

A perfect example: Voices recently rose to condemn the Clinton Foundation. From both sides of the political spectrum. It clearly is the world’s largest slush fund. It clearly peddles influence in return for fat contributions. “Shut it down!” its critics cry.

James Carville is a paid master spinmeister for the Clintons. His response? “Some children will die.” This is his attempt to swing that spotlight to a new topic. Poor children. Poor Carville. These days he is charged with impossible missions. Such as defending the slush fund and the emails.

Candidates from all over the world have hired him. From Afghanistan to Colombia to Argentina. Politicians everywhere will pay for spin.

Imagine him as a teenager. Crashes the family car. “Gee, Dad. You always tell me I should take school seriously. This was a science experiment. To see if our collapsible bumpers really work. I knew the insurance company would repay you.”

Carville and many of today’s spinmeisters could write textbooks for Propaganda 101 courses in colleges. They belong in the Propaganda Hall of Fame. They could join Baghdad Bob. He was the Iraqi spokesman during the second Iraq war. Baghdad was virtually overrun with enemy troops and armor. Baghdad Bob told the world the Americans were on the ropes.

WWII had many such propagandists. Including the laughable Lord Haw-Haw for the Nazis. He broadcast lies galore for Hitler. As Tokyo Rose did for the Japanese. The Korean War had Seoul City Sue. (Say that three times quickly.) Vietnam had Hanoi Hannah.

Nixon had henchmen who concocted lies for him during Watergate. Bill Clinton had the same to help him wriggle out of the slime of his sexual adventures. One of his spinmeisters tried to swing the spotlight onto a “vast right-wing conspiracy.”

And today we have the likes of James Carville. (His wife Mary Matalin spins for the other side. Used to be for Republicans. Lately for Libertarians.)

Maybe we could hire these pros to help create a new app. A spin app for your smart phone. Hey, I am serious! We could make money with this.

We would load the app with the wisdom of spin from guys like Carville and his wife. Cop pulls you over for doing 120 in a school zone. You quickly open the app and beg it for what to say to the trooper.

“Cramps in my leg. From an overdose of Viagra.”

Second choice: “Kids were just getting out of school. I was speeding to get past the school to make it safer for them.”

Hey, you should put some money into this idea. Send the check to my charitable foundation. You and I will make millions with it. Millions. Would I lie to you?

From Tom…as in Morgan.

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