Considering the sheer number of differing theories out there – conspiratorial, imagined or even ... gasp ... those grounded in reality – it’s no wonder our country stands so divided at this stage of the game. Face it, we’ve reached the boiling point and – sooner or later – we’re going to get burned, no matter one’s religious, political, financial or philosophical stance.
It is, I’m sad to say, the great American decline, and it’s in full swing nowadays.
No matter the issue, no matter the discussion, we’re so firmly grounded on one side of the fence or the other that it’s become increasingly difficult to have any kind of rational conversation anymore, whether it’s the economy, any number of social issues (abortion and gay rights spring to mind) or even the weather. Trust me, any time some Fox News-watching, rabid conservative says the sun is shining some fanatical, evil, liberal lunatic such as myself (I’m the Skeletor ... err, the Cobra Commander ... or maybe the Emperor Palpatine of all liberals) will blame it on some scientific farce like climate change ... or good ol’ George Bush Jr., of course.
What can I say? We liberal crazies make the entire Klingon Empire look like a bunch of pansies.
Note to the reader, if you’re having trouble discerning the sarcastic nature of those last two statements you may wish to stop reading now. The 2000s, if you ask me, will be long remembered as the decade when terms such as liberal and socialist took on a new meaning ... and not in a good or intelligent way, you can be sure.
In fact, I even have a shiny, brand new poster for my office (thanks, Spence!) that reads “DON’T BELIEVE THE LIBERAL MEDIA,” all a part of my ongoing effort to exorcise the liberal within me so that I can better serve society as a whole. I even watched a whole hour of Fox News last night, and I was amazed that I only heard those newly defined terms – socialist and liberal – 574 times.
Then again, considering the trouble media mogul Rupert Murdoch has got himself into (and Fox News being about as non-liberal a network one could ever wish to find), maybe I should re-think my strategy.
Regardless, the system as we know it is at its breaking point, from the lowest lifelong welfare recipient siphoning off of it to the richest CEO and his multi-billion dollar golden parachute. Both, if you ask me, have it made. Neither has to – or finds it necessary – to work whatsoever; both rely heavily on the tax-paying, hard-working middle class; and neither need fear that this is going to change anytime soon...