Dear Maggie,

How do you go about staying positive when someone you love is desperately unhappy? I’m talking about my mother. She is absolutely miserable. She’s been married to my dad for thirty some years, and he completely dominates her. She waits on him hand and foot and all her ever does is criticize her. He’s so possessive of her time that she never has any free time to do what she wants, to go out with friends or experience anything new. He gripes about ever penny she spends.

I can’t bear to see her so unhappy. Everytime I think about her, I cry. It just hurts me so much to see her in this situation that I find it impossible to be happy myself. How can I be happy when she’s not?

I always thought that when I had a home and family of my own, I could be her way out. Now that I have those things, I was finally able to ask her to leave my father and come live with us. I was shocked by her reaction. She was offended and acted as if I must be out of my mind to suggest such a thing. She was stunned to think I would even suggest it.

How do you make someone get happy when they don’t even seem to want to be? How can I convince her to put herself first and start living her life for once? Please help.

Best,

Devoted Daughter