Shayne On You: It's OK To Say No
Published: July 1st, 2009
By: Maggie Shayne

Shayne on You: It's OK to say no

Dear Maggie,

I’ve always been a very generous person. I give a lot of my time to other members of my family as well as to my good friends. For example, I spent days helping my sister pack for a recent move. I babysit anytime anyone asks, and believe me, it’s often. I even dog sit for one brother all the time. I never say no. And I never ask for help myself.

Well, just last week I had a rough time for a change. My car broke down, and I needed to borrow one for an important appointment. I asked all my friends, and all my siblings, and everyone had an excuse for not being able to lend me their car.

Well, I’ve had it. I’m tired of doing all the giving and never getting anything back. I’m going to start saying no from now on. Every time anyone asks me for any favors, I’m going to make up some lame reason to refuse them, and if they call me on it, I’ll just say, “I only do favors for those who appreciate them.” And that’s fine. But I just don’t understand this, and I want to.

Why do you think people are so selfish when it comes to those who do the most for them?

Signed,

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