Shayne on You: Three's company, too

Dear Maggie,

I’ve just recently sublet an apartment with two roommates, and at first I was overjoyed. I visited the place twice before agreeing to the terms, and both times only one of my roommates was there. So I’d never met the other until I moved in. There are three bedrooms, a communal living room and an eat-in kitchenette. Anyway, when I first arrived, roommate #1 was great, and roommate #2 (I’ll call her Babs, but that’s not her name) seemed nice, too. But then, one night as I entered the living room to watch TV, Babs was flipping from one channel to another, and I sat down to watch. It was irritating, the channel flipping, but I didn’t say anything. Anyway, eventually, she looked at me and snapped, “So are you going to be coming out here every night, or what?” I was stunned. I said, nope, and went back to my room. A few nights later, I heard a show I liked, and again I ventured into the living room. She was there, and so I told her that I really wanted to see this show, and asked if she would mind if I joined her. And she said, “I was flipping,” and started flipping channels again. I went back to my room, and as soon as I did, I heard the show I’d wanted to watch come back on again. It played on, no channel flipping. A while later, I went out to the kitchen for a snack, and as soon as I came out, she started flipping channels, only to settle on my show again as soon as I was back in my bedroom.

I really love the other roommate, the original tenant, but I’m beginning to think she deliberately got me to sign the lease before letting me meet Babs. I don’t know how to make peace with Babs, or whether I even should. I’m only here for a short time – six months. But I’m not sure I can stand it that long. What should I do?


Wronged Roomie

Dear Roomie,

“Babs” is an unhappy, miserable person. Don’t let her make you into one, too. If you can keep vibrating on an upbeat, happy, positive level, and you choose to stay in the apartment, and the other roommate is mostly upbeat too, then Babs will only have a handful of choices.

A. She’ll have to change her attitude to become more positive and upbeat.

B. She’ll have to move out.

C. She’ll stay away from the apartment as much as humanly possible.

What she cannot possibly do is remain miserable and live with a pair of cheerful optimists. It just won’t work. The energy won’t mesh. She’ll either change her vibration or vibrate her miserable little butt off to somewhere else. Of course there’s a fourth option – she can make you so miserable that it’s your vibration that has to change. But you’re too smart to let that happen. So that’s first, just know that if you can keep positive and not let her misery be your excuse for not being who you are, this situation cannot last. It can’t.

While you’re waiting for it to change, however, there are a few suggestions I would offer, to make the in-between time more bearable for you. If you wouldn’t mind an unpleasant confrontation, you might suggest that since Babs is, effectively, the only one with living room privileges, maybe she should be paying a bit more and you should be paying a bit less. And when she throws a fit about that say, well, the only other option would be to have equal time in the living room. Anyone can be there any night they want, of course, but we’ll alternate who’s in charge of the remote control. Share and share alike. Equal time for all.

If you don’t want to have that conversation at all, then get yourself a cheap TV set for your room. It’s not fair, but there’s really no such thing as not fair. We all attract what we attract, and for whatever reason, you attracted this roommate situation. There must be something your higher self is wanting to learn from it. When you look at it that way, it’s a lot easier to deal with. Being with someone who drives you crazy, makes you grow more than anything else in life ever could. Maybe you should thank her!

Hugs and good luck!


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