Shayne on You: No sense worrying about the future

Dear Maggie,

I’ve recently started “dating” a new guy, who is nine years older. It’s going pretty well so far, but I’m wary of getting too serious too soon. So far he seems okay with that, but I worry that things will change. He’s called me “sweetie” three times and “baby” once, and my sister said once guys start calling you pet names like those, they think you’re their girlfriend. How can I let him know that I’d like to keep this relationship casual and fun, rather than serious and heavy, without hurting his feelings or putting him off?


Fancy Free

Dear Fancy,

Life is short. Live it with everything you’ve got. Worrying about the future is really a waste of time and energy, because you just never know. So my advice is to enjoy this experience and focus on the things you like about it, without spending any time worrying about things you might not like – things that haven’t happened yet and may not.

In the meantime, the best way to let the guy know you don’t want to get too serious, is to just tell him. Once isn’t usually enough with the male species, though, so you might want to mention it on a regular basis, just in case. You don’t have to beat it to death, just casually make comments like, “Look at those people bickering. I’m glad we don’t take life that seriously.” Or, “I really like that we’re keeping things light and fun, and not getting all heavy and serious.” Stuff like that.

Keep in mind that some people toss around terms of endearment pretty loosely. Shoot, I call people sweetie all the time – women even. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything more than that he likes you and is being sweet and attentive.

Relax, and enjoy this. Oh, and one more thing, as for the nine years, age is the most irrelevant, trivial, useless standard anyone can use for judging anything or anyone.

Good luck! And remember – have FUN!


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