By Bryan Snyder

Outdoors Writer

What is making all that racket? With growing irritation, I leave off packing and trudge outside to investigate. Around the corner, two wild turkeys are crashing into my screened bedroom door, thrashing their wings furiously and threatening to take their battle inside the house. The ruffians are too busy shoving their beaks down each other’s throats to notice my presence three feet away, so before they can wrestle their way into my bedroom completely, I decide to break it up.

“Look, I can have Frank Perdue here inside of five minutes,” I threaten. Two pairs of avian eyeballs turn to stare at me in horror. Dumbfounded and beaks open, the turkeys look like a pair of schoolboys caught by the principal. They scurry off quickly into the brush, and the bedroom door slams shut again.