A jobless Nirvana

What a wonderful development for you. And for your kids. And for America. Our leaders have decided it is good for us if they wipe out a bunch of jobs.

It may take you a while to adjust to this new way of thinking. But they are encouraging you to do so. They want you to get with it. To think modern. Your president, your vice-president, your top guys in Congress. They think this way.

Let me explain. In the last few weeks the Congressional Budget Office released its study of Obamacare’s impact. The study took up lots of pages to conclude this: The new healthcare program will kill something like 2,500,000 jobs.

Wunnerful!

Last week the CBO looked at the President’s suggestion to raise the minimum wage to over $10. It said that wage would kill off another 500,000 jobs.

Wunnerful!

Uhh…the guys who tell you these job losses are wunnerful are your wunnerful leaders. For example, the White House economic advisor Gene Sperling. He said on national television that the 500,000 job loss would be a good thing for folks who “would prefer maybe not to work.”



Meanwhile, back at the White House, spokesman Jay Carney told us the loss of 2,500,000 jobs is a good thing. These losses will give people the opportunity to decide if they will bother to work. So he says. What an opportunity! We never knew. Thanks, Jay.

Down the block at Congress some leaders said the same. Obviously all these guys had got the email: TALKING POINTS ON JOB LOSSES OUR PROGRAMS WILL CAUSE. 1. JOB LOSSES ARE GOOD FOR FOLKS. 2. IF YOU CAN CONVINCE FOLKS THAT JOB LOSSES ARE GOOD, MAYBE WE WON’T LOSE OURS.

This is a wunnerful world, isn’t it? All your life people have urged you to get a job. To work hard. Now your leaders are telling you the opposite. No job? Don’t worry, be happy. If your folks are alive, phone them. “Hey Dad. Remember how you told me that a job is a good thing? And no job is a bad thing? Boy, are you out of date.”

I am waiting for these leaders to flesh out this idea. I expect they will start to look at other job losses this way. You know, those millions of jobs we have already lost. I can hear them now: “We have rescued America with policies that killed millions of jobs. Just think how many Americans no longer have to fight morning traffic. Think how many Americans can spend more time gardening. Or working on their yoga. Or sculpting. Don’t forget the sculpting.”

Now maybe you will have a hard time bending your mind around this new thinking. But not me. I am with it. My new message to young people has already changed. What’s that, Sarah? You are quitting school? You plan to avoid work permanently? You just want to ice skate? You go, girl!

Soon our leaders will shape more programs around this new thinking. If they put their minds to it they could wipe out another 10, maybe 20 million jobs. Why think small? Let’s think 50 million jobs down the tube.

That would deliver 50 million souls to downtown Nirvana. No work, no sweat, no stress, no job, no guilt. Nancy Pelosi Land, with wall-to-wall leisure.

Let me leave you with a Nancy comment. Let’s say Obamacare wipes out your job. You should rejoice over your new freedom. “Yeah, if you want to be a writer, if you want to be a comedian, if you want to be a camera person, if you want to start a business.” Previously she said more people could quit their awful jobs to write poetry.

Uhh, Nance…the comedian job is already filled.

From Tom...as in Morgan.

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