A post on one of evesun.com’s forums made a relevant point yesterday: there are a lot of “anti-something” groups floating around.
“Look at all the anti-something groups out there,” the person wrote, “anti-war, anti-violence, anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-gun, anti-France, anti-death penalty, anti-Wal-Mart ... the list goes on and on.” The rest of it might also include anti-Bush, anti-immigration, anti-religion, anti-stem cell research and a few other popular anti-somethings.
If that list can go on and on, consider that for every “anti” viewpoint there’s got to be a “pro” one somewhere, too.
And no matter what side you’re on, it’s obvious people have found a lot of different issues to be divided on.
So where do I stand?
As you probably well know, I rarely make (decent) political and moral stances. I’ve been afraid to, for fear of being banished, just after getting ripped a new one. But given the seriousness of the nation’s political and moral climate, and since you asked so nicely, I’ve decided to quit being such a pansy and get in the ring.
Here we go...
On second thought, taking the easy way out sounds pretty good, and safe.
From now on, I’ll just be anti-anything that sucks (sounds simple enough).
Anything that sucks includes:
• eating salad
• having wet socks
• waiting for people who can’t figure out four-way stops
• watching chick flicks
• working
Who can argue with that? It’s my opinion – it’s not like other people have to model their lives after it. Who cares what I think anyway?
Wait.
Wait.
Listen, you can hear the train of spin and backlash coming from friends, family, and complete strangers in response to my personal views!
“Michael, these are the sort of irresponsible statements that have helped bury the non-water-proof footwear industry, and America right along with it!”
“Mike, do you realize that your thoughts on ‘chick flicks’ could ruin the rest of Matthew McConaughey’s career? How crooked and callous can you be?”
“Mr. McGuire, your anti-healthy foods, pro-insulated boots, anti-elderly drivers, anti-women, blatantly pro-Mexican platform is appalling, not to mention disgusting!”
“It appears we’ll never be able to have a civilized conversation again.”
Who knew it was such a big deal to be anti-rabbit food, anti-jungle rot, pro-stop lights, pro-good movies and pro-leisure?
I guess that’s what happens these days when we open our big mouths.
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