It hinges on gas price

Do you ever wonder what our founding fathers would think of today’s presidential elections?

How would you explain to Thomas Jefferson that the item that would swing the most votes would be the price of gasoline? First, you would have to help him understand what cars and gasoline are, of course. And how gasoline is the equivalent of oats for horses in his day.

“Let me understand,” he might say. “Your candidates debate for twelve months? And your current president will have been in office for four years? Citizens will have had ample time to examine his policies? And he and his opponents will have spoken many times to voters? And you tell me the election will likely be decided by the price of oats? And the President has nothing to do with the price of oats? John Adams will never believe this. Ben Franklin will fall on the ground laughing.”



Indeed, it is hard to credit. But some pollsters recently discovered that the price at the pump will swing the most votes in the election. Millions of them. That is, people told pollsters they would vote for or against President Obama for no other reason than the price of gas.

They will ignore his policies, his decisions. They will disregard his appointments. They will set aside petty matters like Obamacare and trillion-dollar deficits, wars and defense budgets. What will win their vote is the price of gasoline. Millions will vote against him if it is $4.50 a gallon. They will vote for him if it is $3.25. Even though a president does not have much – if any – influence on that price.

Meanwhile, millions of other voters will look only at a candidate’s views on abortion. They don’t plan on having one. They know a president does not have much influence on the matter. But…the candidate’s views on the question will decide these votes.

You might recall the prominent gal who admitted that Bill Clinton committed perjury. She was aware that he had mal-treated women and was credibly accused of rape. Did not matter to her. She said she was willing to perform his favorite oral sex on him. And, I presume, vote for him. Because he favored pro-choice. Case closed.

Millions of Americans vote for candidates because they look good on television. If they perspire too much, no vote. If they are fat, fugettaboutit.

And don’t get me started about candidates who slept with women not their wives. Bedmates of years ago have zero to do with tax policies. Nothing to do with economic and defense policies. But they determine who will sleep in the White House.

Millions vote nay because they dislike the way the candidate’s spouse looks. They don’t like her hair. Or his paunch. They vote yea because they like his teeth.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal was coursing upward. Until he spoke. Millions rejected him because they did not like his voice.

I suppose we should be grateful such miscellany was not so important years ago. Lincoln would never have made it to Washington with that mole on his cheek. Jefferson and that black woman, Sally Hemmings? Scratch him.

And, hey, the price of oats was pret-ty high when Adams was running. And let’s not even mention that wig he wore.

From Tom ... as in Morgan.

For more columns and for Tom’s radio shows and new TV shows (and to write to Tom): tomasinmorgan.com.

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