Iím really unhappy in my job. Itís the same old drudgery, day in and day out. Boring work, that doesnít seem to mean a lot. I do a good job, but so could a trained monkey. I donít feel like my skills are appreciated, but then again, whatís to appreciate about what Iím doing? Like I said, anyone could do it. So I get up dreading going to work, and spend the day wishing I were somewhere else, and go home depressed that I know I have to go back again the next day. I love your messages (both here and on your website and blog) about being positive and making your own happiness, but how do you do that when youíre forced to spend your days doing something you hate? In this economy, I canít quit. The pay and the insurance are too good and I have children to support. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Dear Happily Employed,
(See what I did there?)
Okay, so you wrote me this note and in it, you pointed out all the negative things about your job, but as you got to the end, you found two positive things to say about it. It pays well and the insurance is good. Those are two very important things.
If I were in your shoes, Iíd stop focusing on all my gripes about the job and start focusing on the positive things about it. And Iíd start looking for more things to like about it, and adding those to my focus as well. Iíd totally stop myself every time I caught myself complaining, outloud or in my head, about my job.
When you tell the same story over and over, it becomes your reality. The current story youíre telling is that you are stuck in a job you hate. Thatís probably your main topic of conversation with everyone you knowóhow much you hate your job and how you canít possibly leave it. If you want to have a new reality, you first need to begin telling a new story.
ďMy job is easy to do. I can do it so effortlessly that it leaves my mind free to wander anywhere I like during the day. My job pays really well, and I love that I have health insurance. My jobs supports my kids, and what is more important than that?Ē
Thatís what youíve got so far. Now start adding to it. Find things to add to your day that you love and enjoy, or even like a little bit and enjoy. A special way to enjoy lunch breaks, a friend at work you enjoy being with, an ongoing game of trying to outdo some other employee with a daily joke or gag, anything to make it a bit more pleasant to go to work. You need to eliminate the griping and complaining from your reality. It has to cease to exist.
As you begin feeling happier and better, (and you will almost instantly if you focus only on the good and ignore the the bad and stop complaining) you will move yourself into a good, positive place, and you can then begin expecting positive things to happen. And one of those positive things will inevitably be a more pleasant job appearing on the horizon for you. Because of having a job youíve disliked, youíve created a better one for yourself just by wanting it so badly. But it canít come to you while youíre still focused on hating the job you have. In can only come to you when you are really and truly happy where you are. And then, bam! Youíll have it.
So try this out and see if you get results. (You will.) And then let me know!
And donít buy into that talk about ďthis economy.Ē A whole lot of people are going to make a whole lot of money during ďthis economy.Ē Thereís no reason you canít be one of themóunless you believe the hype.
Good luck, and happy new year!!!!