Donít beep at me, especially if you donít use dry cleaning

Regular readers know this column spends a lot of time in a lot of weird places, as does its writer. So this week I thought itíd be nice to get some different perspectives. Instead of the usual, I asked some of my best, and weirdest, friends from around the state and the country to tell me what I should write about.

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You should write about car horns. Ė Keith in New Orleans

Personally, I canít stand it when people use the horn being friendly. Like beeping to just to say ďhelloĒ when they see me in my car or walking down the street. Car horns are a form of profanity, not pleasantry. If youíre horning me, you had better want to knock my block off. Thatís why I always wanted auto manufacturers to install a sensor in the wheel that would spray drivers in the face with windshield washer fluid every time they did a ďhappy honk.Ē Lesson learned.



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Write about the price of dry cleaning. It seems to cost more than itís worth. Iím not sure what percentage of Evening Sun readers use dry cleaning, though. Ė John in Malta, NY

There is a large number of people in Chenango County who donít use dry cleaning, but they really need to start. Itís not fair to make people around you suffer. As far as the cost goes, it can be affordable if you shop around. Iíve found that green-colored Speed Stick, by Mennen, is really good for dry cleaning in between showers, especially when youíre already a little ripe. Right now itís on sale most places for $2.29. And itís definitely worth the cost, too. Because who wants to smell like a re-heated Double Whopper?

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Talk about why men are willing to risk everything for sex? Ė Katie in Little Falls, NY

Contrary to popular belief, men risk everything for sex because sex is cool. Yet, there are myths out there that say itís because weíre greedy, beastly, shallow, heartless, power hungry and generally stupid. Those allegations just arenít true. If they were, wouldnít that mean we were risking everything on stuff that wasnít cool? Explain that one. The real question that no one is asking is: Why do women risk everything to go shopping?

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Music festivals are getting a little too big for their britches. Many seem like itís not about the music anymore, and more about the money. Ė A.J. in Morgantown, W.Va.

You folks donít need me to tell you that everything is about the money these days. But it used to be that you could go to a music festival, see great bands, party with your friends, wake up dehydrated and chaffing on top of a strangerís tent, get a bacterial infection from the porta-pottie, forget the entire weekend and it would cost you next to nothing. Now itís $200 for a ticket, $5 for a water, $7 for a slice of pizza and many of the bands are sell-outs. What happened to the old days, when it all meant something?

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I bet a lot of people in Norwich would enjoy reading about Def Leppard. They have a drummer who lost one of his arms in a car accident. He still plays. Itís perhaps one of the most inspirational comebacks in rock history. Ė Joe in North Wales, Penn.

Iíd like to know if the drummer from Def Leppard can dry clean under both armpits?

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McGuire understands if youíve lost all respect for him after reading this. His column appears Thursdays.

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