Mike Vs. Mark
Published: February 28th, 2008
By: Michael McGuire

Mike vs. Mark

People call me Mark at least once a day. Never fails. It’s always, “You got a booger hangin, Mark,” or “Is that your He-Man underwear on the clothesline, Mark?”

They do it in person, on the phone and even in e-mails (in which instance Mike or Michael is even printed clearly in several different locations). I think it’s because phonetically I have the same last name – and a similar first name – as the former baseball player, Mark McGwire.

It’s always been that way. Sometimes, people even ask if McGwire and I are related. Growing up, I’d lie and tell them he was a distant cousin – they never figured out our last names were spelled differently – proud to have any sort of tie to the slugger. Even if it wasn’t real. And why not? He was an American hero. Then he got accused of taking steroids and other assorted horse pills. After that, being called Mark wasn’t as cool (I tell everyone who still thinks we’re cousins that I avoid him at family reunions).

What’s funny, is that regular people whose names sort of sound like great people’s names never get screwed up. For instance, I bet no one has ever called Jim F. Kennedy, “John” by mistake. It’s because we respect great people too much to let that happen. No one respects a widely-known, disgraced loser. So in my case, it’s guilt by association. However loose.

TO READ THE FULL STORY

The Evening Sun

Continue reading your article with a Premium Evesun Membership

View Membership Options




Comments