The President in the bathroom

What is the President of the United States doing in our public restrooms?

An aside: You don’t have to remind me that “restrooms” are not for resting. Toilets are not for toiling. Bathrooms at the ballpark are not for bathing. Washrooms are for far more than washing. Okay. Okay.

For this piece shall we use “Gents” and “Ladies”? You say no? Because you object to the word ladies? And the word women offends you? You prefer womyn? And there aren’t many gentlemen about these days? So ditch the word gents? You prefer myn.? Good for you. Big sigh. Language ain’t so easy these days. Sorry, but I am going with gents and ladies.

Let’s start again. The President is poking around our public Gents and Ladies these days. He is telling us who should be frequenting which facility.

Why is the leader of the free world making such declarations? Because some gents are wanting to pee and powder in the Ladies. Because they feel they are – when you get down to it – ladies. And some ladies are wanting to step into the Gents because they feel they are guys. (Or because the lines are shorter.)



I wonder if he will create a new cabinet position for such matters. Secretary of the Potty. Imagine future critics telling us the Secretary has done a p____poor, s_____job. Headline writers could never resist.

The President already told our military that their number one mission is to fight climate change. Maybe he will change that. “I’ve instructed our Marines to make battleground latrines safe for…”

Now, you may feel I am making fun of people who are unsure of their sexual orientation. Or people who are sure, but whose bodies have not caught up with their thinking. I am not. In fact, I wish to offer a few words of support for them. Seriously.

First, they are in a tiny minority. Should government force the rest of the people into uncomfortable situations? To please a tiny minority? Probably not. And should the President wade in on this? Hell no.

However we should take such people seriously. That is, people who are not sure about who they are sexually. Their uncertainty may come from their particular mix of hormones. Or from the way their brains happen to function.

Probably most of us discriminate in some way against such folks. Against many of those we find “different.” The man who sashays and gushes like Marilyn Monroe. The woman whose voice and gestures make linebackers seem like ballet dancers. Complete with tutus.

We look down on dwarfs and midgets –­ no pun intended. We don’t take as seriously as we should the stutterers. Or those with deformed spines and limbs. Or those whose skin is blotched into various colors. Or those who quake with palsy or cannot see or hear.

Many of these people would spurn your sympathy. They would welcome your respect. They would love it if you treated them as if they were normal.

Here is what I figure will be the dawn of a glorious chapter in social development. It will be the day we inaugurate a dwarf to the presidency. A dwarf who is transgendered. He/she wears skirts on even days. Baseball pants on others. Is deformed. Hunchbacked. Club-footed. Stutters. Is black on the left, white on the right. One whose voice fluctuates from basso profundo to soprano. We will have elected this person because of how he/she thinks and performs.

When you think about the “different” among us, they have committed only one sin. They allowed themselves to be born. Each is stained with difference. But each is graced with the blessed moniker of “person.” Member of humanity. Or humynity, if you insist. They deserve respect.

None of which justifies the President poking his nose into our public loos.

From Tom…as in Morgan.

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