Dear Maggie,

I lost my wonderful husband of 29 years to cancer in May 2005. My best friends held a fundraiser to bring my family and I back home, which is where my late husband wanted to spend eternity. I was so grateful to them, and it was an embarrassing amount of money they raised.

I made my late husband three promises. I would take care of our children, my health, and my career. I focused so much on # 1 that I neglected the others. My health has been very, very bad the last three years. I have multiple problems, but I won’t go into detail. Because of my health, my career has suffered horribly.

My main problem is that I didn’t start grievance counseling until 18 months after my husband’s death. The counselor realized early-on that I was pushing away everybody closest to me, including my family and best friends. Fortunately, my family and a new gentleman friend were stubborn enough to recognize my problem, and we are closer now in spite of it. In fact, I have never been closer to my children.