This is New York State? You don’t say! And it’s winter time? No kidding! Guess that would explain the snow, huh? Could’ve fooled me. With so many crocodile tears being shed about how unexpected and unfair the weather has been around here, I figured we must be in Miami (which I was beginning to think was overrated).
Because whining in South Florida is understandable if there’s snow, slop and ice falling from the sky regularly (Hell, it’s justified if any falls there at all). Just imagine if it was winter-like for a couple weeks, or even months in that part of the country? Where it’s near tropical. Their world would be turned upside down – especially because Miami fashion is founded on pastel colors, which don’t work in a climate that flatters plaid, or so I’m told.
Us here – we’ve got no excuse to sing the blues. Our home is smack dab in snow country. It always has been. Nothing new. For five months – nearly half a year – winter is practically all we know. It’s a fact of life. Between November and April, it’s nasty – and it’s supposed to be. Yet people still act shocked when four or five inches of snow falls in mid-January. In some parts of the country, four or five inches in January is a dusting! Here, it’s a “Winter Storm.” Complete with winter snow advisories, watches and warnings. Networks send out what is today’s equivalent of an air raid siren across the television screen. And everything shuts down. States of emergency. Closed roads. School closings. Evening events postponed.
Up until a few years ago, the weather didn’t seem to matter so much. Everyone just sucked it up – the wind, sleet and snow – and pushed through. Our everyday schedules weren’t interrupted unless we literally couldn’t go anywhere – snowed in.
Now, we don’t even wait for the weather to get bad before we cancel or close anything. It’s all done pre-emptively. The whole day winds up hinging on a weather report, rather than what’s actually going outside. And this year, there hasn’t been much of anything going on outside, it seems. Even when the weather has been “bad,” it hasn’t been that bad. Aside from a few isolated storms, winter hasn’t seemed nearly as long or grueling. Still, the first word of snow and everything grinds to a halt – education, commerce and occasionally, government. Whether it true or not (The Weather Channel spreads panic quicker than the Dow Jones). We’re better off hinging our days on horoscopes.
What’s the point? Next winter, we have to hibernate or get off the pot. We either accept this season as part of our lives and deal with – no complaining, no cowardice – no matter how mild or harsh it is. Or we sleep for five months – save some time and cancel everything way in advance (who’s with me?). But no more of this willy-nilly attitude toward the snow. Get tough or get sleepin’. Hangin’ halfway won’t make winter any easier.
But you don’t need me to tell you that. And you don’t need to watch, be advised or be warned by anyone how crappy winter is. If you do, maybe it’s time to move to Florida.
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McGuire is one of three people in the world without a MySpace page. His column appears Thursdays.
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