Blowing The Gristle Whistle
Published: October 18th, 2007
By: Michael McGuire

Blowing the gristle whistle

We love restaurants with atmosphere. Joints with cool-sounding names like “Uncle Lester’s Carcass Pit,” where people can carve their names in the wall and throw peanut shells on the floor.

We love to hang out in places with character. Where the wait staff is intentionally rude, the lighting glows like nicotine-stained teeth, the chicken wings are hot and everything except the shrimp cocktail comes in a basket.

Aside from the “Harleys Welcome” banner out front, you can tell when you’ve “discovered” one of these trendy roadhouses because they have a flare for making their food sound really appetizing. For instance, the menu items are all “world famous” specials like “The Charred Slab-o-Flesh platter,” “The Slathered Meat Boat” and “The Battle of Gettysburg-on-a-plate for two” (for the rare-cooked beef and dinner theatre lover in us all).

Almost all these places have their own clothing lines, too. That’s an indicator of legendary hole-in-the-wall status. Their one-of-a-kind T-shirts usually have knee-slappers written on them like: “Come to Uncle Lester’s, where everybody gets a piece of carc-ass.”

Yes, we love restaurants that are worn and weathered. Tried and true. The real McCoy. They make us feel original.

It’s too bad most of them aren’t.

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The Evening Sun

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