Author Archive
A wordsmith stands in awe of spring
I was lying in my bed this morning, more accustomed to the distant din of traffic than anything that would set my heart aflutter (I know. People don’t say “aflutter” in the re... read more...
You be the fire investigator
Yesterday, I almost burned down our house. I was in my office doing my morning workout to the exercise video from hell (One. Two. Three. Kick. One. Two. Three. Kick.) Let ... read more...
A tale of two friendships: Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Imagine that I have just snapped my fingers and demanded, “Quick. Without thinking first, name the greatest magician who ever lived; then tell me who was the world’s greatest ... read more...
The Museum of the Mind
Remember the house where you grew up? Not the awful one. The wonderful one. It could have been your own house or apartment. Your aunt’s, your best friend’s, or somewhere you s... read more...
Barack Obama discriminates. So do I.
YOU HAVE JUST ARRIVED AT THE BUS STATION IN A BIG CITY. Your cousin is supposed to meet you at the gate and take you to the airport. You enter the poorly lighted, cavernous bu... read more...
Take a letter, Miss Jones … and while you’re at it, save the world
I am not saying that I’ve always wanted to be a spy or that the Lord High Admiralty of Secret Keepers would accept me even if I tried. But I do admit to an admiration for espi... read more...
A slight case of misperception
We are invisible observers at a comfortable local restaurant. Two couples occupy tables at opposite ends of the room. They can see but they cannot hear each other. Both are ... read more...
Where are the Smith Brothers when we need them?
I have a proposal. It is motivated by the bewildering number of drugs introduced over the past few dozen years, and the stupid – OK, I won’t mince words – idiotic, unintelli... read more...
The cookie made me do it
A few days ago, I heard a talk show host discussing the recent deluge of single-family home foreclosures. He seemed to agree with everyone else that the mortgage crisis was ... read more...
Romance (sigh) at the movies
Well, didn’t I have a jolly old time with today’s Valentine’s Day column. I decided to ask my family and friends which were their favorite romantic movies (romantic being the... read more...
Fire safety will improve your sex life
Ha. Ha. Fooled you into reading this column. Fire safety won’t do a single thing to help you seduce your favorite cutie (although fireplaces are very seductive). But, over the... read more...
Flight Plan
During the past several years, I have taken dozens of airplane trips on various carriers. In doing so, I was shocked to realize that the pre-flight welcome-aboard script had c... read more...
Mr. Biggie
I was brought up during an era when milk was delivered to the door. It came in thick, oblong bottles with gently rounded corners, a stubby neck, and a paper lid that was remov... read more...
Hollywood hates New York
Courtesy of an impenetrable fog and a closed airport, instead of flying back to New York City after a wonderful weekend in Ottawa, I jumped (well ... dragged my suitcase) onto... read more...
Embarrassing, manipulative, Dove.
After I saw the first Dove ad in their on-going “Campaign for Real Beauty,” I kept my response to myself because I was fairly certain that I would be the only person in the wh... read more...
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