Author Archive

Halloween: Our unofficial national holiday

I had to excuse myself to get around the clerk stocking new merchandise on the shelves. It was Halloween merchandise. Halloween is still two months away. Arenít the stores afr... read more...


The Yellow Badge of Cowardice

The IV in the back of my hand was uncomfortable. What sadist thought of sticking a needle there? Itís hard to imagine a part of my corpulent body that has less meat than the b... read more...


My beer cup runneth over

At bars, stadiums and arenas all over the country, a new beverage is popping up. Well, not so much a new beverage as a new way of pouring an old beverage. Some college kid Ė ... read more...


Any way you slice it

McDonaldís is cutting down on the french fries and adding a few apple slices to its Happy Meals for children. Thereís something wrong when a ďhappy mealĒ refers to the food yo... read more...


Home sweet homeschooled

The big rap against homeschooled kids seems to be that they arenít ďsocialized.Ē I asked a longtime member of a big-city school board about homeschooling, and he shook his hea... read more...


Donít head for the Borders

Iím going to tell you a true story about the now-defunct Borders bookstores. Years ago, I wrote a book about the town I was living in. Even though I changed the names to prot... read more...


Money ball

Christian Lopez caught the home-run ball that Derek Jeter smacked last week for his 3,000th hit. When Lopez handed the ball to Jeter, sportswriters were shocked that the guy d... read more...


Golf and death go hand in hand

There is a secret killer out there stalking us. Iím not talking about sexting while driving, eating a green salad in Germany or accidentally stepping between a Casey Anthony r... read more...


Tune in, turn off, unplug

Taping TV shows has become a habit for me; I never watch anything live anymore. I use the word ďtaping,Ē but of course I use a DVR, and I should say I ďrecordĒ TV shows. Compa... read more...


The radar curtain

The thunder is getting louder and more frequent, so I head to my weather map on the computer to see if the storm is going north or south of me, or coming straight for me. As ... read more...


Grill is man's best friend

Iíve got to get a new grill. Mine has burned its last burger, charred its last hot dog. Iíve replaced every part in it that can be replaced. But when the lid fell off last wee... read more...


Is Steve Jobs clouding my privacy?

Last week, Steve Jobs, the ailing CEO of Apple, announced a major move to cloud computing. Iím in that cloud right now, typing this on Google Docs. Itís a word processor that ... read more...


Redhotmama@TMI.com

I was the only boy in my high school typing class, which dating-wise turned out a lot better for me than being a third-string football player. If one all-girl class was good, ... read more...


The gift of garbage

I made coffee this morning that came packaged in a smart blue tin with a gold ribbon around it and was sealed with red wax, which was embossed with a coat of arms. The contain... read more...


You must remember this ...

I have a terrible memory Ė I canít remember names, canít recall dates, canít recollect what Iím supposed to pick up at the supermarket, canít bring to mind where I parked the ... read more...



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