Author Archive

His and Her movies

Sue is dying to see “Les Miserables”; I can’t wait to see “Django Unchained.” She wants to see “Django” as much as she wants to eat giant sea slugs, and I want to sit through ... read more...


Warning: Gym may be hazardous to your health

Bob squeezed into his seat at the Liars’ Table at the Blue Moon Diner and announced that this year he was sticking to his New Year’s resolution. He had joined a gym. This was... read more...


All I don’t want for Christmas ...

The last thing most of us need is more stuff — we already have plenty. I have an attic, a garage, a basement and a toolshed full of so much stuff they have their own gravity; ... read more...


I’m dreaming of a lottery windfall

I won! I won! I won the lottery! Seven dollars on a $10 ticket. I’m taking it as a lump sum, not that they even asked my preference. Now I’m cleaning the living room so it won... read more...


Failing the fiscal physical

It seems we are about to fall off the “fiscal cliff.” Didn’t we already do that? What happened in 2007 and 2008 when the value of our homes got cut in half? What was that? A f... read more...


Some years, you just want to stay home

Almost everyone we know has packed up and gone south for the winter. The ones who haven’t left yet will be gone soon. Our friends who live south of us are leaving to go even f... read more...


Don’t lose sight of the reason for the season

Now that some stores are starting to open on Thanksgiving Day, my BFF Stacy and I don’t have to waste time listening to my boring Uncle Bob go on and on about his quadruple by... read more...


The First Thanksgiving Family Feud

Historians agree that the Pilgrims really did celebrate a first Thanksgiving. But it wasn’t turned into a regular yearly celebration until Abraham Lincoln made it official dur... read more...


Spamming the globe

My email program, which touts itself as the best in the world, promises effective spam filtering, easy-to-organize mailing lists and hassle-free access from anywhere. It does ... read more...


The Debate Debate

Eighty-seven million Americans watched the first debate between presidential candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. You’d have thought Honey Boo Boo was going to appear on “... read more...


Looking for a shortcut to penury? Buy a car

We’re buying a new car this weekend. I’m hoping the clunker we’re using for a trade-in doesn’t conk out before we get to the showroom, or drop its engine when the salesman ope... read more...


Junk jalopy is smart buy for parents

New muffler and exhaust pipe, $400. New tires, $700. Third trip to find out why the “check engine” light is still on, $150. The mechanic is thinking the engine may need a head... read more...


State Fair proves if you can dream it, you can fry it

I just got back from the state fair. You could tell it was the last day because people were winning big stuffed dolls on the midway. It seems that after two weeks of rarely wi... read more...


The Wedding Planner

I just got back from a May-December wedding — the bride looked like she was born last May; the groom, last December. If they were any younger, they’d have been wearing formal ... read more...


2012 Olympics: Beach volleyball blowout

Once every four years, I’m in the mood to watch a little discus, a little javelin throw, some long jump, some pole vault, and some hammer throw and shot put. These are not eve... read more...



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