Author Archive

You are what you plant

We have a big garden. A huge garden. I only wish that it was outside the house. And in a few weeks, when it is warmer, it will be, but right now there are bedding trays of tin... read more...


Fasten your bucket-list seat belt

Lots of people are making Bucket Lists: things they want to do before they kick the bucket. There's a danger in doing that, and it's not just tempting fate. What happens if yo... read more...


The museum of modern body art

I was at a doctor's office in a small town recently and overheard one patient in the waiting room talking to another. "There are four tattoo parlors on Main Street and not on... read more...


Musings on the mutability of time

For me, the first sign of spring is the ritual of setting the clocks to daylight saving time. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to change the time on most of my clocks. My therm... read more...


The envelope, please!

Years ago, media guru Tony Schwartz posed a simple but interesting question. “When a horse walks across the TV screen in ‘Bonanza,’” he asked, “is it acting?” Unlike humans (... read more...


The car of the future

We got a new car a month ago, and it hit me as we were signing the papers that we had probably just bought our last gas-powered car. We usually keep a car six or seven years, ... read more...


Where's Gutenberg when you need him?

I’ve heard for years that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but it seemed like a clever phrase being passed off as wisdom, something you might get in a fortune cookie on an off ... read more...


You are what you watch

On the evening news last night, one of the commercials ended with, “If you’re between the ages of 50 and 75, you may be eligible ...,” and I started to laugh. Who else do the... read more...


Today's special: Cacophony, with a side of the flu

“Hi, I’m Stacy, and I’ll be your server. Can I get you something to drink while you look at the menu?” she yelled over the high-decibel music. Over Stacy’s shoulder I could se... read more...


His and Her movies

Sue is dying to see “Les Miserables”; I can’t wait to see “Django Unchained.” She wants to see “Django” as much as she wants to eat giant sea slugs, and I want to sit through ... read more...


Warning: Gym may be hazardous to your health

Bob squeezed into his seat at the Liars’ Table at the Blue Moon Diner and announced that this year he was sticking to his New Year’s resolution. He had joined a gym. This was... read more...


All I don’t want for Christmas ...

The last thing most of us need is more stuff — we already have plenty. I have an attic, a garage, a basement and a toolshed full of so much stuff they have their own gravity; ... read more...


I’m dreaming of a lottery windfall

I won! I won! I won the lottery! Seven dollars on a $10 ticket. I’m taking it as a lump sum, not that they even asked my preference. Now I’m cleaning the living room so it won... read more...


Failing the fiscal physical

It seems we are about to fall off the “fiscal cliff.” Didn’t we already do that? What happened in 2007 and 2008 when the value of our homes got cut in half? What was that? A f... read more...


Some years, you just want to stay home

Almost everyone we know has packed up and gone south for the winter. The ones who haven’t left yet will be gone soon. Our friends who live south of us are leaving to go even f... read more...



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