Author Archive

Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’

We were eating the last of this year’s fresh corn for dinner while watching “Jeopardy” recently. Writing questions for “Jeopardy” would by my dream job. All of them seem so ... read more...


Mo’ government, mo’ problems

For years, federal, state and local governments have been passing crazy regulations that drive up the cost of doing business, without allocating any public funds to pay for th... read more...


Kiss of the vamp ire

Two 16-year-olds were talking about how much they were enjoying the third season of “True Blood.” I’d heard about HBO’s hit show. But what’s so special about vampires? As if w... read more...


Sleep tight, don’t let the Westin bite

“They Came in the Night to Suck Your Blood!” No. It’s not the latest episode of “True Blood,” it’s just another headline about the latest plague, bedbugs. Bedbugs sound like... read more...


iLostIt

I’m starting to wonder how much of Apple’s business comes from gadgets that are lost, accidentally laundered to death or unwittingly tossed into the garbage. It’s been two wee... read more...


Diary of a mad flight attendant

I’ve had to deal with roaring drunks, tantrum-throwing children, marriage-ending screaming matches and gross-out, rent-a-room reconciliations, all at 30,000 feet. But as I was... read more...


Photos of a picture-perfect royal family

England’s royal family announced they have started a Flickr account, which means they can now share their baby pictures and vacation snapshots with their friends and family ar... read more...


Dressed for excess

Sue and I stopped at an interstate rest stop last week and – no surprise in the middle of the summer – it was packed with travelers. Very badly dressed travelers. Let’s think ... read more...


The flavors that we savor

My brother-in-law and I both said all the things you’re supposed to say when you’re about to eat a meal that someone has taken the time and trouble to prepare. We said that ev... read more...


Expert tease

Paul, the Genius German Octopus correctly picked the last eight winners of the recent World Cup soccer finals. I am hoping that my stockbrokers will offer the cephalopod a job... read more...


The mysteries of Jersey

A Russian spy ring was arrested in suburban New Jersey a few weeks ago, and the CIA is still trying to figure out how much damage they may have done to the United States. As o... read more...


Socialist networking

I just got back from infiltrating a Socialist meeting. Their meeting hall was almost full, and I have it on good authority that there are weekly meetings all over the country,... read more...


‘You are a toilet, where am I?’

Can you say “Why don’t they learn to speak English if they want to live here?” in Spanish? In Italian? In Greek? I can’t. Unless you learned another language as a child or are... read more...


A man’s car is his castle

My car is my office, my filing cabinet, my spare bedroom, my art collection, my summer home, my beach cabana, my sauna, my think tank, my den, my gym locker, my golf locker, m... read more...


Wine and I should get together again real soon

My friend Paul quit drinking, which was the smart and responsible thing to do. I am happy for him. A few weeks later another friend went on the wagon ... then another. I was h... read more...



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