Author Archive

Dear Future: Where’s the dome?

It’s been 50 years since I read my first comic book about what life would be like a half-decade in the future. I remember it well; by now we would all be living in futuristic,... read more...


Life: There’s no app for that

Sue wanted me to go out and shovel the snow off of her car so she could get to work. It seems awfully old-fashioned in this high-tech age that either of us should actually hav... read more...


Bam! Practical kitchen magic

Kitchen tip: Make sure the recipe you are preparing is on cue cards. Things proceed much more smoothly when all you have to do is look up can read, “Add 2 tablespoons unsalted... read more...


Raspberry Finn

You’ve all heard the news that Mark Twain’s classic anti-slavery, anti-racist book has been changed to take out a very offensive word so more teachers would feel comfortable u... read more...


$38,000 for traffic and weather updates

I’ve just watched my fourth automobile commercial in the last half hour. For 60 seconds all they talked about was the radio in the car. How many speakers it had; how you could... read more...


2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack

Skeptics ask “Can you really see the future?” and I say, didn’t I predict that some major movie stars would be involved in scandals last year? Sure enough, Lindsay Lohan, Mel ... read more...


2010: A year of annoying junk

Welcome my friends to the year that was. Political Ads: Face it, they’re always offensive to someone, but particularly silly are the ones that end with a tag line like “Pai... read more...


Never trust a building over 30

After a recent snowstorm in Minnesota, the roof of the Metrodome in Minneapolis collapsed. Snow? In Minnesota? In the winter? Who could have seen that coming, aside from Nost... read more...


Why do bad things happen to stupid people?

I just read a news story about a guy who got $14 million in 1998 from the sale of his family’s business. Then through a series of accidents, he lost most of it during the curr... read more...


Moving on from movie theaters

The idea of showing clips of soon-to-be released movies to an audience in a movie theater is a no-brainer. It’s a captive audience that likes movies enough to brave roving gan... read more...


Enjoy those ED commercials while they last

At last, it’s safe to turn on the television without the chilling fear that you’ll have to sit through 20 political commercials in a row. The only good thing anyone can say ab... read more...


The gift of nothing is the biggest gift of all

For once, I have finished my Christmas shopping early. I just went over my list to make sure that I hadn’t forgotten anyone. It was pretty easy; this year, everybody’s getting... read more...


Vegetables are the new meat

I used to hate Brussels sprouts. The only way I had ever had them was boiled, and they were smelly and disgusting. Then I found a recipe for pan-fried Brussels sprouts in baco... read more...


Traveling is just plane gross

It’s been 10 days since I was last on a plane. I still have the remnants of a hacking cough, and my desk is littered with empty sheets of vacuum-packed pills claiming to be th... read more...


And this little piggy came home

“How can someone forget that they bought a pig!?” I have to say, on reflection, that my wife had a point. I have started to forget things more and more often, but they’re us... read more...



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