Author Archive
Dead mice tell no tales
“What’s that smell?” Sue asked from the front hall. “Is that a dead mouse?” Sometimes I cannot help myself. “Is it?” I said. “I just thought you were cooking dinner.” Some pe... read more...
Going paperless - priceless!
For months, a large retailer emailed me twice a day, begging me to switch from paper billing to online billing. If only I would go paperless, my hair would grow back rich and ... read more...
Should bad behavior be rewarded?
When money managers are asked why they deserve tens of millions of dollars for pushing around other people’s money, the answer is always, “the risk.” They took the risk; they ... read more...
Perplexing problems of the rich & famous
No doubt you shook your head when you heard that Tiger Woods’ ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, tore down a $12 million waterfront mansion that she had bought in North Palm Beach, Fla.... read more...
Do these glasses make my gut look big?
There’s nothing like a visit to the optometrist to make you feel old. I’m already wearing trifocals – for distance on top, computer in the middle and reading on the bottom. I... read more...
So many movies, so little time
Why do all the movies that you want to see open the week between Christmas and New Year’s? And by “you,” I mean people who are older than 13. During January, February, March ... read more...
More expensive by the dozen
I just got a shirt back from the laundry today. $6.75. When did the price jump from $2.25 a shirt to $6.75? There must be some mistake. “No mistake. They haven’t been $2.25 s... read more...
The View from the bottom
Have you noticed that almost every new daytime TV show wants to be a version of “The View”? You can almost hear the pitch sessions down at Television Central – “It’s totally d... read more...
In one year and out the other
Have you made your New Year’s resolutions yet? Me neither. What’s the big rush? And what’s the connection between New Year’s and resolutions? Why can’t we make resolutions on ... read more...
Deer know when it's time to skedaddle
Deer-hunting season has started. I know, because of the complete and total absence of deer. The herd of seven that have been snacking on my saplings, my garden and my lawn eve... read more...
TGI Black Friday
I stuffed an extra bottle of pepper spray in my coat pocket and patted myself down to make sure I hadn’t forgotten to bring my brass knuckles, nunchucks and a blackjack. My fi... read more...
Planning for the long-term – tomorrow
Bob was not happy. He’d just gotten back from a meeting with his stockbroker, the guy who manages his 401(k). “He’s, like, 21 years old and smart as a whip, and he always sho... read more...
Don't be the turkey this Thanksgiving
Here’s the problem with Thanksgiving: Unless you’re the host, you have to travel. If you’re lucky, you won’t have to spend nine hours on the tarmac with overflowing toilets a... read more...
Musings on puffery, partners and Playboy
Looking for a movie to go see, I checked out the ads. A blurb for one movie said it was “a real nail-biter.” Another blurb said so-and-so called it “one of the Top 10 movies o... read more...
The not-so-ungrateful dead
I am a morning person. I hop out of bed before the alarm rings, make coffee, read the paper, listen to the radio, feed the cats, empty the garbage, make breakfast, read my ema... read more...
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